Leaving the Person We Always Wanted to Be

Have you ever met someone who seems to be the person that everyone wants to be like?

These sort of people walk into a room and amazingly draw a crowd just by showing up.

I can remember in Jr. High having a friend who was so fun, witty, smart, and likable that everyone flocked to her. She had a contagious personality and a way of making those who were close to her feel like they were her very best friend. In fact, she was such a natural leader that when my bus would arrive at school, I would see a group of girls standing outside the building, waiting for her bus to arrive. Wow! She even had groupies!

There was hardly a girl who didn’t want to get next to this young lady, admiringly  hoping that some of her DNA would rub off on them, or that they would be noticed just by being in her presence.

She had the “wow” factor, so to speak, and it was something to behold.

Something to behold and something to cause all of us to compare ourselves to.

Not that she put that on us, but that we put that on ourselves. She had the power and some of us were found wanting.

It has always been this way it seems. We as a people, tend to exalt and glorify the ideal characteristics that our culture and society say we must have.

We are to be independent, strong leaders, witty with comebacks, the life of the party, beautiful and have charisma that draws people. To lack in any of those areas is to fall short.

So we work hard to be that person that we notice is valued. We want to be significant and whatever we have to do to project that image, we will not be satisfied until it is achieved.

Here is the problem though.

Those people are a rare individual. Most of us are pretty ‘normal’ and don’t stand out in the crowd. Trying to be that person will only make us miss out on enhancing our own personalities, talents and gifts. In trying to model them, we lose ourselves in the process.

We also miss those ‘ordinary’ people who have amazing gifts that we don’t discover because they don’t exude the “wow” factor. They are the sort of people who in time, as you observe and get to know them, find that they have a hidden treasure.

Early on with my popular friend, I began to grow weary of being a ‘groupie’. It seemed she had a plethora of friends. She was always too busy to get together and hang out. There was constant competition for her attention.

At some point, I got tired of the game and started opening my eyes to the fact that maybe some other people had qualities about them that were worth getting to know?

I began to discover a whole new world of people out there. Quiet ones who were observers and not talkers but had a wealth of wisdom. Loyal ones who were always there for you when you needed a listening ear. Funny ones who didn’t need a crowd to entertain but could just enjoy the moment and laugh at the simple things in life.

I started looking for those treasures in people. I began to enjoy being myself and finding other’s who I felt comfortable with and I didn’t have to do anything to keep their friendship or impress them. They liked me for me and I liked them as well.

As the years have passed I have learned about appreciating the many gifts and personalities that God has blessed people with. Everyone is created with abilities that are uniquely theirs.

In some settings I may be the one to lead, in other’s there is someone else who is the better leader or more qualified. A person may even have leadership potential and need me to step aside and let them develop that skill. It is o.k. to not always be the one in charge just because our society says “be a leader!!” Sometimes we need to lead in being a good example of how to follow.

There are times to be the spokesperson, there are times to be the listener. Some people will never be vocal and that does not make them a lesser person.

It is o.k. if some are the writer’s and thinkers, quietly displaying their gifts behind the scenes or in different venues.

We need to evaluate our gifts, personality and talents, rightly assessing ourselves and our abilities. If I am busy trying to be someone else, then who is going to be me?

Each person is a gift. Don’t miss out on the hidden treasures in yourself or in other’s because you are too busy looking at the ones displayed on the table.

Dig deep…..there is gold in them ‘thar’ hills!

Psalm 139:14 “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”




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